Buy shirts with these designs (featured below) for $25 bucks a pop and free shipping in the USA, friend.
The whole gang is here to eat your pizza and mack on your girlfriend (if she happens to have a communications degree).
One of my dad’s favorite stories of me growing up was of him coming home and asking what I was watching on television, and my response was “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” To which he replied “What???” And I was like, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.” But I would have been like 4, so it probably sounded like some garbled nonsense like “Teench Ache Moobant Ninsha Toodles.”
I very fondly remember my mom passing out daily during Guiding Light and TMNT coming on afterwards. I’d sit down cross legged, or as it used to be (insensitively?) called “Indian style,” and watching the antics of those 4 crime fighting goofs basically every weekday. Then the movie came out, and it was way the fuck more serious than the cartoon, and I later found out closely mirrored the comic book, which I found a compilation of cheap at McFrugal’s. Did you know that all the turtles originally had red bandanas? Am I to examine there weapons on each panel to differentiate them EVERY SINGLE TIME? That’s one thing the cartoon fixed I guess. Then everything went sideways and there’s like 10 different cartoon series’, a bajillion movie reboots, and I don’t really care for them much anymore. The original arcade game was awesome though, and only second to the freakin’ sequel Turtles in Time.
For my fifth birthday my parents hired a Ninja Turtle to come to our apartment complex and surprise me. It was cool, except for it was obviously a woman in a suit, and it was fucking Raphael and not Michelangelo. For the record, I love my parents and am completely grateful for everything they’ve done for me, and no matter what, everything is just a story to tell when you’re older.
Are you still here? Would you like to buy a shirt?
…and Raphael
Splinter can suck it.
