I’m Scared, Bruh

April 2, 2021 10:36 pm

I’m trying it again. I’m going to try to write for 10 minutes a day for 100 days straight.

It’s scary. It’s embarrassing putting yourself out there – the typos and the misspoken words. Either way, it’s now or never. Insert 3rd cliche here.

It’s frustrating not being able to consistently do something. It feels great when you’re able to knuckle down and finish a project. I’m feeling anxiety right now and had to pause for a second wondering if I’m doing the right thing, or if I’m just embarrassing myself with this odd stream of consciousness.

I’ve scratched a few goals off of my list this year so far, and I really want to be able to accomplish them all. Some of them include intense hard work and focus. The thing that’s been screwing me up the most is direction.

One of my goals is to finish a coffee table book filled with art and words and whatnot. I’ve probably started and stopped it at least 10 times trying to come up with a focus. A topic. Any kind of thread that will weave through it.

I’m hoping that writing consistently will not only help me improve my writing skills, but help me figure out some sort of direction.

The 100 days method was inspired partially by Noah Kagan’s suggestion to do something 100 times before you quit, but more so by Tiantian Xu’s 100 Days of 3D Design project. Her job requires her to be creative, but she’s done a number of 100 day challenges with results that are stunning to say the least.

I don’t want to reach day 100 and find myself to be some kind of famous prolific writer, but I do want to be able to have the courage to get through it, the drive to do something for 100 days in a row, and more than anything to find some sort of direction for myself so that I can move on to the next phase.